Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
