Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
