hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
