it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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