I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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