how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
