Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
