im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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