so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
