We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
