Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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