Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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