from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
