what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My life is pants optional.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
