She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
