And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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