Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
