just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
