well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You pole danced in your parka.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
