Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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