You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
