shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
