If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
