I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
