I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
