That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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