Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
