um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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