2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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