I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
