That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
