chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
