you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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