I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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