My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
