Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
