dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
