Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
