they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
