her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i dont even know how to be here
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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