Jerry, you need to find god
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We need to rekindle our bromance
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
