I'm going to jail i love you
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Randomize