it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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