it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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