and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
