Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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