We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
