Screwed.edu
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
