Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
