mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
