so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
