When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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