What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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