I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
