My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
one might say we're banned from that church
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
