Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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