Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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