So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
