We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
