I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
