u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
