Me too!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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