Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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