Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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