ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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