she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
