Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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