Porn is love you can see.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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