put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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