first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
