i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
