1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
i now understand why vodka
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
