i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
