So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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