is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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