Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
