Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
