dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
