this beer tastes like vomit already
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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