"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
