I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
