I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Operation Purity has been aborted
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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