she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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