He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
we're chasing vodka with high fives
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
