You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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