Can Purell be used as lube?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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