You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
